222 How other people treat your kids..

March 25, 2009

What a coincidence..
Today when we went to the doctor we happened to bump into somebody who the kids know from kindergarten.. some teacher or helper or whatever.. She didn’t work there a lot.. just as stand-in once in a while..
Now.. when you bump into someone who is supposed to know both of your kids.. don’t you expect them to treat your kids equally?. Now this woman said a short hello to one of the kids.. and talked a lot with the other one.. and kept telling me how cute and nice and wonderful.. etc.. I don’t get this kind of behavior.. from somebody who is supposed to be pedagogic and work with kids.. to just give one of them all the attention and the other one is standing there.. thinking. Hey.. you’re supposed to know me too!!

Well.. might be that it is true.. one of our kids is more social and open.. cute.. easy to like.. has that “I’m a doll.. take me home” – look. But hey.. there is nothing wrong with the other one.. Maybe not as social.. maybe not as talented at “making people just love you”.. But hey.. nothing wrong.. still a wonderful personality and worth just as much respect and attention.

What I find is wrong here.. is when an adult.. pedagogic(or supposed to be) kindergarten teacher or helper – keeps treating the kids differently.. I tell you she is not the only one.. This happens all the time. And I feel so sorry for the kid who gets less attention.

Myself.. I can only make sure to do my best to treat them maybe not equally meaning “exactly the same way” because they are different personalities.. but equally in the way that I don’t give one more attention then the other one.. I’m not more interested in one than in the other.. But with other people there is really not much you can do.. more than wish they could think before talking.. THINK – before they make one kid feel loved and wanted and cute.. while the other one gets nothing.. Everybody above age of ten should know better!!!

Phew.. I think I managed to write this post without even telling who is who of the kids.. 

And the coincidence.. I happened to read Treating children equally at Joy’s when I came home from the doctor..

Now code brown emergency.



  1. That is a really funny coincidence. But the difference was I was talking about “our own”kids where they both knew how much we loved them. What I find really sad about this is that this woman, teacher, whatever should be trying to pull the shyer one out of their shell. So they can learn that they are lovable and try to engage this type of child and trying to teach them that it’s okay to be the way they are and it’s okay. They are liked just as much.

    My kids were like this also and it really did make me mad at the time. My older one was so much more quiet than my younger one so he got less attention. What I ended up doing was I paid more attention to him and then it didn’t seem fair the other way. That my younger one wasn’t getting it from “me” but I was trying to “make up” for the lack of attention his brother got.

    It’s so hard to explain but I think you know what I mean. If only we always knew what to do.

  2. Yes I know what you mean.. However we do it – it will never be even.. I think on some level the kids have to learn also – that life isn’t fair.. it is not even. It’s just so sad that they have to learn it already at the age of three or four.

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