Dude and I decided already months ago, that by the time I finish this semester – I’m gonna take a break from my studies.. For a year – or two, or a few years, or many years, or forever… We don’t know.
It makes me feel so bad when I see the laundry piles growing, the house getting dirtier.. the half painted kitchen.. things that I wanted to do with the kids for so long now – but I don’t have time. Lack of energy.. bad sleep.. I just can’t take it any more. This is not how we want it to be.
Dude is very busy too with work and studies and he is the one who is doing what he really wants to do.. he is the one our income is depending on.. He is the one who actually has to continue with what he is doing.. continue being freakishly busy for the next few years.
I want to cook, bake, keep the house clean and tidy, and still have time to be in the playground with the kids – still have time to do handcraft with them in the afternoon after kindergarten. I don’t want to put our son to sleep early – not because he needs to sleep early – but because we need to study early.
I don’t want to skip the vacuumcleanining today and think I’ll do it some other day instead – just because I have no time to do it. I don’t want to postpone cleaning the frigde until the food is walking out by itself.
So there you go.. I’m going back to be “only” wife and mother.. taking care of our family, our house… everything. I know I’m gonna love it!! That’s how I really want it to be!!
I can’t say we aren’t happy now.. Because we are.. We are the happiest family in the entire world!! But no matter how happy we are it can always get even better!!
I told our four-year-old today.. that “When summer comes mommy will not study anymore.” I tell you.. the kid was almost dancing… He is only four – but he understands that mommy is gonna be happier and funnier that way… 🙂
Only another two months to go with school first.. And then I’ll be free!! – for as long as we feel that’s the right thing.