159 Sleep?

November 4, 2008

Sleeping… is something we don’t do enough in this house. The kids do.. They go to sleep early. We don’t.. we stay up until late (at least midnight.. usually we don’t fall asleep until around 1.00 am) And then – around 5.30-6 the kids wake us up.. We try to keep them in bed until 6.. which is when the day starts. (though I stay in bed half-sleeping until around 7)

I’m exhausted.. I’m so tired that I can’t sit down for a long time without falling asleep. I try to read something.. and after like half a page it’s just blur. Around lunchtime is the worse.. the food make me all dizzy.. And in the evening I have a hard time forcing myself to be serious – because I’m tired. On the other hand.. look at me!! I’ve felt like this now for years already.. And I’m still alive.. I’m still pretty healthy.. and I have some sense of humor..  quite amazing!

Only my brain is getting a bit messed up.. I’m loosing my short term memory.. forgetting to drink my coffee, going to the kitchen to get something – and by the time I get there I can’t remember what I came for.

We’ve said so many times that we need to go to sleep early.. that we need to sleep more every night. But you know.. that’s easy to say – and harder to do. We both stay up late to study.. Maybe dude has more than I have. But then we have the problem that I can’t fall asleep until he is going to sleep. No matter how hard I try I can’t fall asleep.. because I’m kind of waiting. If he isn’t home(very unusual) or if I know that he has to stay up the entire night(very unusual too) I can fall asleep.. because then I’m not expecting him to come.

I realize it’s a bad circle.. I just don’t find the solution for it. We’ve tried for so long to get more sleep.. but it didn’t work. Why can’t there just be like 5 hours more every day (or night)?? That would make it easier.

Now is around ten in the evening.. And now I’m going to read a book about the Weimar Culture by Peter Gay. That SHOULD make me sleepy. (which in some way is good and some way not.. since that’s what I’m supposed to study) Studying in bed is the best sleeping pill one can have!

Btw. I have to check a list of things that happen with the body and the brain due to lack of sleep.. Maybe half of my personality hides in there.. you never know.


One comment

  1. It’s so hard to get good sleep. I always stayed up late studying in college; my best papers were written at 1 in the morning. I’m a night owl with early birds for kids, so I force myself to go to sleep. And you! You are doing both! That’s amazing! But you and your husband need sleep. Mayeb two nights a week you could get to bed early? Good luck!

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