¤ 103 When kids are lying…

October 5, 2008

So today was the day that all parents know will come.. they just don’t know when.

I asked our son to put on his pyjama.. so he started undressing. But when he should put on his pyjama he found only the pants.. no underwear and no shirt. And I was 110% sure that I put them all in a nice pile on the couch. I asked if he knew where they were.. answer was no. And he looked for them – didn’t find.

After a while I found them in the laundry!! and then he told me he hid them there because he wanted other underwear and another shirt.

Fine.. other underwear and shirt wouldn’t have been such a disaster. It’s more the principle. He shouldn’t lie to me. And also he is not old enough to always decide on what to wear. He would seriously take a fleece shirt a hot summer day, and shorts in the middle of the winter.. he isn’t smarter than that. I told him already many times that when he gets older he can make such desicions on his own. But for now – we are sometims deciding for him – and sometimes giving him a few options to chose from. He is free to have opinions – but the final decision is on us.

Well.. this was just a little episode.. My main question here is.. How should I deal with it when he is lying to me? What is the best way to make him understand that he has nothing to gain by lying?



  1. Well, first of all, I would show him that you found out his lie. Secondly, I would tell him that God ALWAYS knows when he lies, even if the person he lies to does not. So does he actually get away with it? Then, I would have him come up with a punishment for himself (he’s 4 right?) that he thinks fits the crime.

    This is how I dealt with it with my niece. I simply showed her over and over how I caught her every time in lies so therefore they were pointless. Now she starts and I simply give her “the look” and she says… ok Auntie I know.. I can’t lie to you… lol.

  2. Thanks for your advice Amber, I think you are right, and I know you have a lot of experience.

    Like we say small kids – small problems, big kids – big problems. This maybe doesn’t look like a problem. But I think it’s very important to deal with it from an early age. If he learns the lesson already when he is very young we will have fewer things to deal with when he gets older.

  3. This is a very delicate subject. I agree with Amber that you can only make the punishment fit the crime. It wasn’t that big of a deal that he wanted to wear something else but like you said, he shouldn’t lie. When you find someone in a lie, it’s got to be dealt with.

    Given that said, some people just do lie. Some people lie for no reason. I have a friend who tells little white lies constantly and for no good reason. My oldest son lies all the time and no amount of punishing made him stop. They were always very inconsequential, but lies none the less. My youngest son is like I am and gets very nervous when telling a lie and so, he doesn’t lie. Both from the same family and both different. It’s my opinion that some people lie and some don’t and I honestly believe it’s in our nature.

  4. I wanted to point out also that I don’t believe in any way lying is okay. I hate it but I’ve seen the way some people will lie over nothing and it just comes so easy to them and others, like myself, can’t tell a lie to save my soul.

  5. “…others, like myself, can’t tell a lie to save my soul”

    Hahaha, I thought that was incredibly funny! 😀

    Well, I guess the lie wasn’t a very big thing, so I’d just explain to him, very neutrally, that it is a waste of time going around saying things that are not true, because you had decided for him to wear those clothes for a reason, so if he didn’t like it, he’d better tell you right on, so you could explain again why he had to wear them.

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