I don’t know if it’s only me (and dude) or if it’s something common among young parents.. We tend to very easily identify ourselves with the kids in different situations..
When I’m cleaning the kids’ room when they are in kindergarten – and I throw some old and broken toys, and piles of hand craft that you can’t even see what it was meant to be.. funny shaped pieces of papers put together with stickers in different formations, half bus tickets and toilet paper rolls that are all over the place etc.. Oh yes.. with toddlers you have to go through the stuff once in a while because if you kept everything it would take only two months to fill the room all the way up to the ceiling. You save some stuff, and you throw the rest.. and the chance is like 95% that the kids will only see that you cleaned – not that you threw stuff away.
But still.. my only though when I’m doing it is: What if I happen to trow something that they value…? Something that looks like crap to me – but is important to them. When I was a kid I was terrified every time I knew my dad and my sister were going to go through my room. I liked it in some way – because I knew they could get my room in order – in a way that I couldn’t do it myself – because I was only a kid. But I was also afraid they would throw my little piece of thread or a broken sea shell.. or something else that I really valued.. but I knew would look like crap to them. I spent hours of thinking where to hide these things so they wouldn’t find them. (now I have no idea why I didn’t tell them about those precious little things.. stupid little kid.. maybe I didn’t believe they would understand)
I continue to go trough my kids’ stuff.. to throw things.. because I have to. I can’t ask them about everything.. they are only kids – and they would tell me to keep everything. I know that they will probably not even notice.. but what if they do??
This is only one example.. I think like this about everything.. in almost every situation I can picture myself as a kid in the same situation. That doesn’t mean we let them do whatever they want. We are actually quite strict.. but this is how I think.
Is this specificly for us.. or is it normal?
I’ll probably never feel grown up.. not even when I’m 96 and living in an old peoples home and drinking coffee with my great great grandchildren in the afternoon.
Now – I don’t think there is anything bad with this.. rather the reverse. It’s good for the kids to have parents who actually can understand them.. who laugh with them – and not only at them.. Who remembers the scary nightmares.. who remembers how the kids look at their parents.. who can watch Donald Duck and Bob the builder and enjoy.